You know what a cardinal is, right? Little red bird with a big red attitude. I pulled into our drive way last night, and parked next to Quinn’s pretty new car. Quinn’s pretty new car is parked in front of my mother’s car (we’re car sitting while she’s Out Of The Country). I heard a noise behind me and looked in the rear view mirror.
There was a cardinal on her rear-view mirror. And it was really really angry at the cardinal inside her rear view mirror. Lets say that again for the people in the back:
There was a cardinal attacking her rear view mirror because he saw his own reflection and they are insane, territorial little beasts.
Quinn scared him off by accident, so I’m the only one who saw him. I have pictures of the results of his assault (bird poops and some weird smears on the mirror).
This morning I came out and found my rear mirror – covered in a little bit of bird poop and weird smears.
This guy is going to be a problem, I can see already.
In the most recent survey of the dead:
- 97% of respondents said that getting a vaccination was better than being dead;
- 2% said that they weren’t sure which was worse;
- 1% repeatedly asked the interviewer, “does this sheet make me look fat?”
I parked towards the top of the driveway (I was suppposed to go out for lunch, but that didn’t happen), so Dad’s car wouldn’t fit. I’m sitting here on the couch, next to Alpha, and realize …
So I gave Alpha my car keys and said, “Hey, wanna move my car for me?”
She only freaked out for 10 seconds and then she was out the door with my keys. I told her to tell Dad to help her out.
She did it. She moved my car (20 feet down the driveway). Kid is flying high on success right now. I am SO proud of her!
ps – Go. Me.
Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs are French, the lovers are Italian, the mechanics are German and the trains are run by the Swiss.
In Hell, the police are German, the chefs are British, the French are the mechanics, the Swiss are the lovers and the trains are run by the Italians.
You were once the youngest organism on the planet. But at the same time you’re also as old as life itself, an unbroken line of cell divisions stretching back 3.5 billion years.
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh
Q: What do you call a fish wearing glasses?
A: A fiiiish
It doesn’t get much funnier than an appalled 10-year-old accusing her parents of being in the shower together.
12 New Year’s Resolutions
Regardless of who sets the stage, it takes a conscious decision to play the part.
[After the latest round of terrorist bombings in Paris, people are alternately blaming Presidents Obama and Bush for setting the stage for the attacks. ISIL may have been created as a response to the invasion of Iraq, and ISIL declared their responsibility for the Paris bombings, but the core of every atrocity committed in the name of ISIL is an act perpetrated by a thinking individual that could choose a different path — but didn’t.]