Category: Funnies
I Love Imgur
I love Imgur. I lurk and sometimes post, but I adore the stuff you can find. Here are some of the sweet, funny, and cool things I have found over the almost two years (Almost my second cake day!) I have lurked about.
This made me happy (Not mine)
This is why we DON’T MESS WITH THE BRITISH NAVY
That’s not even half. These are my favorites of my favorites from TWO PAGES. I’ll add more as I go along. 🙂 Have fun with these!
Survey Says…
In the most recent survey of the dead:
- 97% of respondents said that getting a vaccination was better than being dead;
- 2% said that they weren’t sure which was worse;
- 1% repeatedly asked the interviewer, “does this sheet make me look fat?”
Heaven vs Hell
Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs are French, the lovers are Italian, the mechanics are German and the trains are run by the Swiss.
In Hell, the police are German, the chefs are British, the French are the mechanics, the Swiss are the lovers and the trains are run by the Italians.
That was one angry duck…
I’m sitting in the living room, minding my own business, working from home (as you do), when I see a large bird land in the neighbor’s yard, followed by a male mallard duck. Being me, and curious, I checked and sure enough, the first bird was a female duck.
After they finished doing … whatever it is they were doing in the neighbor’s yard, she popped up on the fence and started quacking. Loudly. For a LONG time.
She was up there for a good two minutes, quacking angrily. And then she moved…
Yes. That’s my car. With an angry duck on it. She flew off along with Mr. Duck. You can almost hear the “Honey! Wait for me!”
Fish Joke
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh
Q: What do you call a fish wearing glasses?
A: A fiiiish
Halloweenie
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite thing to drink around the holidays?
A: Booze!
New Year’s Resolutions
12 New Year’s Resolutions
(Programmer’s Edition)
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Best response ever
Us: We are going to the Bookstore! Do you guys want to come?
Children: NO! (They didn’t even look up from their computers.)
Us: If you’re sneaky, you may get to see your Christmas presents!
Beta: I don’t want to see them. If I do, they’ll turn into underwear!
Us:
Beta: I know that’s not true, but I don’t want to risk it.
There are 10 types of people…
There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who know binary, those who don’t, and those who didn’t expect this joke to be in base 3.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who know binary, those who don’t, those who didn’t expect this joke to be in base 3, those who didn’t expect this joke to be in base 4, … , and those who didn’t expect this joke to be in base n.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who know ternary, those who don’t, and those who mistake it by binary.
There are 10 types of people in the world. One who knows binary, and nine who can’t tell a joke right.
There are two kind of people, the ones that can extrapolate information with incomplete data
There are 1 kinds of people in the world: those who start their arrays at 0 and those who don’t.
There are two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.