Survey Says…


In the most recent survey of the dead:

  • 97% of respondents said that getting a vaccination was better than being dead;
  • 2% said that they weren’t sure which was worse;
  • 1% repeatedly asked the interviewer, “does this sheet make me look fat?”

Heaven vs Hell


Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs are French, the lovers are Italian, the mechanics are German and the trains are run by the Swiss.

In Hell, the police are German, the chefs are British, the French are the mechanics, the Swiss are the lovers and the trains are run by the Italians.