12 New Year’s Resolutions
(Programmer’s Edition)
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Best response ever
Us: We are going to the Bookstore! Do you guys want to come?
Children: NO! (They didn’t even look up from their computers.)
Us: If you’re sneaky, you may get to see your Christmas presents!
Beta: I don’t want to see them. If I do, they’ll turn into underwear!
Us:
Beta: I know that’s not true, but I don’t want to risk it.
There are 10 types of people…
There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who know binary, those who don’t, and those who didn’t expect this joke to be in base 3.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who know binary, those who don’t, those who didn’t expect this joke to be in base 3, those who didn’t expect this joke to be in base 4, … , and those who didn’t expect this joke to be in base n.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who know ternary, those who don’t, and those who mistake it by binary.
There are 10 types of people in the world. One who knows binary, and nine who can’t tell a joke right.
There are two kind of people, the ones that can extrapolate information with incomplete data
There are 1 kinds of people in the world: those who start their arrays at 0 and those who don’t.
There are two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.
Nerd Poetry
< > ! * ' ' #
^ " ` $ $ -
! * = @ $ _
% * < > ~ # 4
& [ ] . . /
| { , , SYSTEM HALTEDTranslation:
Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat equal at dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four,
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH.
“Whatcha doin?”
“I’m working on my tan.”
“Dude. It’s night time.”
“If it were daytime, I wouldn’t have to work very hard, would I?”
I try to tell good jokes…
…but they always come out a little funny.
You heard it here first, folks. Try the fish and be sure to tip your waitress on the way out.
Edit: I also posted it on reddit. Stop by and give it an upvote.