I’m not really that kind of driver, am I?

[Me, driving normally]

[Me, pulling ahead of someone and tucking myself neatly into their lane]

[Meghan, with genuine respect]: Nicely done!

[Beta child, from back seat]: When I have to get somewhere quickly, I drive like dad does normally.

D&D What GIF by Hyper RPG

Best response ever

Us: We are going to the Bookstore! Do you guys want to come?
Children: NO! (They didn’t even look up from their computers.)
Us: If you’re sneaky, you may get to see your Christmas presents!
Beta: I don’t want to see them. If I do, they’ll turn into underwear!
Beta: I know that’s not true, but I don’t want to risk it.