And Other Bad Words
I was an only child… but it took a lot of effort.
—Alpha Child
We had been riffing on the Steven Wright joke, “When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.” Alpha’s ad-lib made the joke that much darker. I am quite proud.
“Baba” plays the part of the matriarch and rents a house on the cape, then invites the families to come stay with her. Our responsibilities include making dinner (plus cleaning up) and enjoying ourselves.
This year was one of the rainiest summers in a long time, among the top 5 since record keeping began, but we still had plenty of time for fun.
We went on a whale watch out of Provincetown on Wednesday. It was really foggy and we didn’t see any whales, or anything at all, for almost two hours.
Suddenly, out of the fog, we stumbled across some whales that really showed off for a bit.
We discovered Skaket Beach, on the bay side of Orleans, on a beautiful afternoon.
The beach is very flat so as the tide retreats you can walk out very, very far.
There are natural tide pools that trap crustaceans. The kids had fun hunting hermit crabs and minnows. Tim dug up a couple of steamers to show the kids what lives beneath the sand.
Beta child made some new friends, as usual. Baba did, too, with a couple that lives in the next town over from us. Meghan and I had fun talking with them about local stuff, and listening to the husband grouse about local contractors and the crappy McMansions they put up.
A couple of days into our stay, a local hawk mother decided that her chicks were ready to leave the nest. One of the three wasn’t quite ready and complained, loudly, every remaining day of our stay.
The mother hawk, to her credit, never strayed too far away. The siblings showed up as well to coax him off his branch. This one, however, mostly hopped from tree to tree and demanded a nest and food.
Sometimes I like to fantasize that I’m actually as competent as everyone seems to think I am.
Alpha child officially graduated from high school today!
Hot day, graduation was moved to morning to avoid 90+° F in the afternoon. (92° as I write this, expected to top out around 94° in a couple of hours.)
Afterwards, lunch with the grandparents at the Emerald Rose.
I’m very proud of Alpha. I’m also very proud of myself and @mom that we successfully launched a tiny human to adulthood.
I think this is the earliest that I’ve ever put air conditioners in the windows. Most years we make it until July. We used to go entire years without putting them in.
Being an adult means that you have the power to eat dessert for dinner, but the wisdom and self-control not to.
Ralph, who is not religious, is so down on his luck he decides to pray for some good luck. He prays to god that he win the lottery.
The drawing comes, and passes, and he doesn’t win.
By the end of the week things just continue to get worse, his car has been repossessed and he faces eviction from his mom’s basement, so he prays on the lottery again. But nothing.
Finally, after even his dog bails, Ralph prays again: “God, please, I’ll believe
in anything you say, just let me win the lottery this once!”
A voice booms out from the clouds. “Ralph, just meet me halfway and buy a freakin’ ticket!”
Life is the hardest teacher. It gives you the test, and then gives you the lesson.
Kent: You’re all just a bunch of degenerates!
Chris Knight: We are? What about that time I found you naked with that bowl of Jello?
Kent: You did not!
Chris Knight: This is true.
Kent: I was hot and I was hungry.
The real genius of this movie was the dialog. It’s so ridiculous that it almost sounds true.