
I think this is the earliest that I’ve ever put air conditioners in the windows. Most years we make it until July. We used to go entire years without putting them in.
And Other Bad Words

I think this is the earliest that I’ve ever put air conditioners in the windows. Most years we make it until July. We used to go entire years without putting them in.
Being an adult means that you have the power to eat dessert for dinner, but the wisdom and self-control not to.
Ralph, who is not religious, is so down on his luck he decides to pray for some good luck. He prays to god that he win the lottery.
The drawing comes, and passes, and he doesn’t win.
By the end of the week things just continue to get worse, his car has been repossessed and he faces eviction from his mom’s basement, so he prays on the lottery again. But nothing.
Finally, after even his dog bails, Ralph prays again: “God, please, I’ll believe
in anything you say, just let me win the lottery this once!”
A voice booms out from the clouds. “Ralph, just meet me halfway and buy a freakin’ ticket!”
Life is the hardest teacher. It gives you the test, and then gives you the lesson.
Kent: You’re all just a bunch of degenerates!
Chris Knight: We are? What about that time I found you naked with that bowl of Jello?
Kent: You did not!
Chris Knight: This is true.
Kent: I was hot and I was hungry.
The real genius of this movie was the dialog. It’s so ridiculous that it almost sounds true.
We’re just over a year into the COVID-19 pandemic. Most years past we would simply go to Meghan’s mother’s house, and she would put on a traditional dinner: boiled corned beef, boiled potatoes, and boiled cabbage.
Last year we ate a sad dinner on our own, as I had never made corned beef and cabbage before. I tried it in the slow cooker. It didn’t turn out very well. Lesson learned.
Due to the wonders of science and concentrated efforts, the world has vaccines in record time and we see the light at the end of the figurative tunnel. My mother-in-law has been vaccinated and graciously agreed to come to our house. And I’m taking another stab at making traditional Irish-American dinner.

Taken from How To Make Corned Beef:
Stovetop method: For a 5 pound brined corned beef brisket. Place the corned beef in a Dutch oven. Sprinkle with one tablespoon of pickling spice blend and pour in 4 cups beef broth. Add potatoes, carrots, and cabbage. Bring to a boil on high heat. Reduce heat, cover and cook for about 3 1/2 hours. Add water if necessary to keep brisket covered. Slice across the grain.
I don’t mind saying, it was delicious. But it might have been a side-effect of having company for the first time in a very, very long time.

We made two exceptions from tradition: I added garlic mashed potatoes, and we didn’t have Irish coffee after dinner.
This recipe was an instant hit. I have to make a double batch if I want leftovers for the next day.
Adapted from therecipecritic.com
When I was a kid I disliked soups and stews, and hated even the idea of lentil soup. (which, as a child, I somehow equated with Barbara Streisand – probably due to the publicity of her movie Yentl.) Fortunately I became more open-minded as an adult, and found that I absolutely love lentil soup. It’s very healthy for you, to boot.
The red lentils in this recipe break down and make a very creamy soup. Green and brown lentils may be substituted, but black lentils don’t work out well.
You can try other vegetables as substitutes or additions, including sweet potatoes, butternut squash, mushrooms, celery, or whatever you have on hand.
Adapted from The Absolute Best Lentil Soup.
So little Jimmy walks past the general store where the old fellas sit out front. He’s carrying a bag of something. Stan, the youngest of the old guys, calls over to him, “Whatchya got there?”
“Duck tape! I’m gonna find some ducks!” Jimmy yells back. “I don’t think it works that way,” Stan says. Jimmy keeps on walking.
A few hours later Jimmy comes walking back the other way with a brace of ducks in his hand. The old guys at the store are suitably impressed.
A couple of days later, Jimmy walks by with bundle of something under his arm. Stan accosts him again, “Whataya have today, Jimmy?”
“Dog wood. I’m looking for a new dog.” “I don’t think it works that way,” Stan says. Jimmy keeps on walking.
Before the sun gets low in the sky, Jimmy comes striding back towards home, holding a puppy at the end of a leash. A low whistle emanates from the group of fellas.
A day after that, Jimmy is on his way by again, a rod of something in his hand. Stan gives him the side-eye, and suspiciously asks, “whatchya got today, Jimmy?”
“I got some pussy willow.”
“Hold on,” Stan says to Jimmy, “let me get my hat.”
This is our family dog. She is waiting for me to take her for a our regular after-dinner walk.

I am changing her name from “Butter” to “Aka Lana Lana” (“Hopeful Shadow” in Hawaiian) as she closely follows me around the house from the moment we finish dinner until I actually take her for a walk.