Ralph, who is not religious, is so down on his luck he decides to pray for some good luck. He prays to god that he win the lottery.<\/p>\n
The drawing comes, and passes, and he doesn’t win.<\/p>\n
By the end of the week things just continue to get worse, his car has been repossessed and he faces eviction from his mom’s basement, so he prays on the lottery again. But nothing.<\/p>\n
Finally, after even his dog bails, Ralph prays again: “God, please, I’ll believe
\nin anything you say, just let me win the lottery this once!”<\/p>\n
A voice booms out from the clouds. “Ralph, just meet me halfway and buy a freakin’ ticket!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ralph, who is not religious, is so down on his luck he decides to pray for some good luck. He prays to god that he win the lottery. The drawing comes, and passes, and he doesn’t win. By the end of the week things just continue to get worse, his car has been repossessed and … Continue reading “Lottery”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[600,243,599],"class_list":["post-2753","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes","tag-dad-cant-tell-a-story-to-save-his-soul","tag-jokes","tag-lottery"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s4o3FW-lottery","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.jonesling.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2753","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.jonesling.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.jonesling.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.jonesling.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.jonesling.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2753"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog.jonesling.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2753\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2754,"href":"https:\/\/blog.jonesling.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2753\/revisions\/2754"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.jonesling.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2753"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.jonesling.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2753"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.jonesling.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2753"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}